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12/23/2009 1:20AM Wow how time flies... certain artists' work have led me to a main epiphany. I should stop paying so much attention to other people's opinions. I need to go ask those random people standing in the feild what they're up to. That voice in your head that tells you what you need to go after has not been in the front row, I need to change that.
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01/15/2009 3:30AM So I just got done hanging out with Lindsay, we have the strangest relationship I think I'll ever have. I do not have control over the relationship like i normally do and im figuring out my real part for the first time. Im really fucking scared because Im never able to predict what's going on in her head. Our relationship unsettles itself often, but it's difference of opinion, two opinions clashing, not typical girlfriend/boyfriend overdone topics. It's so aparent: I love her.
Im home now, drinking, decided to take apart my wii to install the modchip tomorrow. Taking apart electronics is a HORRIBLE idea while under the influence. I need to make a shopping list of things I need to get done for tomorrow. I take so much fun in doing what I do, my typical routine, yet I've been feeling that curiosity that's making me want to break my normal chain. God, I'm happy.
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AUG..? OLD
For a great while now I've been trying to imitate my own version of what cool is. I dont know where credit is due, maybe to Dave for getting my gears turning, but today I finally realized I was free of that thinking style after a long battle trying to delete it from my active consious. Finally, without direct notice, I've succeeded.
Things look more important all of a sudden. I was on a cruise back home after a great weekend. I know myself a little bit better. My favorites just became a little bit better. I just fell back inside myself and gained control again. This day was mine.
I can't wait for my future plans to get here. i feel so much energy bursting inside me to do these things. And i don't feel anxious about inviting you to join.